bad_lady

Dave's out pissing about with mark, so im all alone again. at least i had a lovely sleep.
Why do i suddenly want to go raving? i blame helen.
I'm losing liz- i can feel it inside me. i shouldn't have invited her out then gone back on it because i couldnt get into aylesbury, but its not my fault. shes probably out with the club yet again, anyway. she's always tried to replace me. first with sarah (backfire ahoy) and now with the fucking club. i wonder if she realises one day im just going to walk away on my own. not that i want to, shes my best friend and i love her to pieces, but i know that other people appreciate me. jesus, even carri who ive known less than a year seems to like me more than my best friend of years and years. which is... a little hurtful i guess.

ive lost my voice.

so last night scarlet, inadvertantly probably, stood me up. waited for an hour but i got scared and went out in aylesbury instead with richard and sarah. got drunk, went back to theirs and watched finding nemo whilst smoking a lot of weed. i took too much and ended up panicking and stuff. parents thought it was hilarious though. urg. i feel like shit now though.
and im still ill.

got fucking flu, and i need to go out with scarlet tonight. i will anyway, but im going to be coughing like a workhouse orphan.
*sniffle* ah well, time to start running a bath i guess. and maybe eat something.

im going to go and eat food and smoke tobacco wrapped in paper. oh, what a rebel.

So it's snowing, which means i'm officially unable to go out, as silly big boots mean i'll spend more time ion my arse than walking. my back is killing me- its so hard to sit up straight in this chair.
dave didnt come in and give me a kiss this morning before he went to work. :(. first time he's ever forgotten.